From my blog, Ibreathehim.com
Originally Written: WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2013
I usually carry very little un-forgiveness in my heart. I personally, get over things really quickly and move on. But, through personal discoveries over the past year, I have learned there is more un-forgivness in my heart than I previously knew.
I struggle with this answer, in and out of the bible each day. I read a verse in the bible on forgiveness and then think to myself – well, no brainer, Jesus would forgive anyone of their sins. But, I always come back to would Jesus have forgiven those who never agreed or admitted their fault? Would He? What does the bible say about forgiveness when repentance isn’t present?
In reasearching that answer I came upon this.
“For true forgiveness to take place, one must completely take pride out. A proud heart will never truly forgive. Matthew 6:14-15 says, For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. This really does sum up a prideful heart. You absolutely cannot expect to be forgiven if you are too proud to forgive someone else. Pride has no place in a Christian’s heart.
Forgiveness can be a real struggle because genuine forgiveness comes even when repentance is not expressed. Forgiveness is sometimes a daily thing for an event that happened earlier in life.”
Read more: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/what-does-the-bible-say-about-forgiveness/#ixzz2Ko45jjqR
So no matter if someone repents, no matter what their heart really divulges – True Forgiveness Lies in forgiving others regardless of their repentance status. The article I found below was also helpful in learning to “let go, and let God” be who He says He is and learn to forgive and put our pride and faith entirely in Him.
I came across this article – located here http://questions.org/attq/should-i-offer-forgiveness-without-repentance/ and I couldn’t help but reflect and respond to it.
Unconditional forgiveness is canceling a debt to all those who intentionally offend us, whether or not they own up to what they have done. Offering forgiveness without repentance, however, does not follow the biblical model of forgiveness (Luke 17:3,4).
The Bible says that we are to forgive as God forgave us (Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:13). God forgives us when we repent (Mark 1:15, Luke 13:3,5, Acts 3:19). He does not grant forgiveness to those of us who are stiff-necked and refuse to repent. We must recognize our sin and repent to receive and enjoy God’s merciful forgiveness. God requires repentance and so must we.
Repentance is important because it’s a person’s only hope for real change (Matthew 18:3; Acts 26:20). If we don’t admit our sin, it’s impossible to be transformed. If we aren’t keenly aware of the sinful direction our lives are going, we will not see a need to adjust the direction. Repentance demonstrates that we need God to help us change our thinking, attitudes, and behavior.
An unrepentant person maintains a sense of control over his life through pride, which can lead to destruction, violence, and animosity (Proverbs 8:13; 16:18; 29:23). Turning toward God (repentance) is necessary to break the cycle of destructive behaviors and patterns of relating to others. If as believers we don’t require repentance on the part of the offender, we stand in the way of that person’s coming to see his need for God and experiencing His forgiveness. To put it simply, forgiveness is a two-way process: repentance on the part of the offender and pardon on the part of the offended.
When only one part of the forgiveness process takes place, the hurt felt by the offended one can lead to hatred, bitterness, and desire for revenge. Because we desperately want relief from the gnawing desire to get even, we can be tempted to let an issue go, or “forgive” without ever confronting the person or waiting for him to show remorse.
It’s wrong, however, to assume that if we don’t forgive someone, we’ll be weighed down with hatred, bitterness, and revengeful desires. That’s not necessarily true because the Bible says we are to love a person regardless of whether or not he or she shows any remorse. We can love our enemies1, but continue to have an unsettled issue with them. In many cases, it is more loving to withhold forgiveness until a change of heart is demonstrated than it is to offer forgiveness without the offender’s acknowledgment of deliberate wrongdoing.
Instead of giving in to revenge, we can soften our hearts toward those who have hurt us when we humbly admit that we, too, have hurt others. It is only by God’s grace that we can enjoy His goodness toward us at all. Just as important, we can have faith that God will avenge if it is necessary (Leviticus 19:18, Romans 12:19-21) and that He will hold each of us accountable (Romans 14:12; Hebrews 4:13 ). We don’t need to worry because our pain doesn’t go unnoticed by our Lord (Psalm 147:3). With that frame of mind, we can demonstrate a deeper trust in God and be led to pray for those who’ve hurt us.
Yes, an unconditional pardon can be granted without the offender ever knowing they’ve hurt us. But this one-sided “forgiveness” is not in our best interest, nor in the best interest of the person who hurt us. It devalues the significance of repentance and robs both the offender and us of the opportunity to grow in Christ.
The ultimate purpose of forgiveness is the healing of a relationship. This healing occurs only when the offender repents and demonstrates remorse and the offended one grants a pardon and demonstrates loving acceptance.
An enemy can be defined as one who intentionally hurts us, is destructive, and can’t be trusted because of his or her lack of remorse. Unconditional forgiveness implies that our response to our enemies should be to offer a pardon with no response on the part of the offender. The Bible teaches, however, that we should respond to our enemies in love (Matthew 5:44). Scripture does not teach that we need to forgive our enemies. Instead, we should love them and pray for them. Love and forgiveness are not synonymous. Back To Article
Do you have any unforgiveness in your heart? If so, bring it out into the light – let it harbor hurt, anger and hatred in your heart no longer – it’s almost Valentine’s Day – free your heart and learn to love unconditionally. I would love to hear your stories of overcoming un-forgiveness and how it has freed you from it’s enslaving misery.
